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Mathematics Teacher : Relativity of course. The Quantum Theory. Planck. Einstein. It’s all

very simple. We understand perfectly. Einstein has taught us that
time is as real as space and matter. A year may be represented by a
metre, or seven years by seven metres. We may even say that the

Thirty Year’s War lasted seven years only because- because.

History Teacher : Because actual warfare took place only for half of each day, so,
thirty years become fifteen. Not even fifteen years because the
soldiers had to eat, three hours day, have noonday siestas to other
activities ...!

Mathematics Teacher : We have only seven years, that the candidate has represented by
the Einsteinian equivalent of seven metres. Correct! You get ‘very
good’ in history. Oof!

The Staff : Bravo! Excellent! Congratulations.

Wasserkopf : (Objecting) But I don’t see.

Principal : Now the examination in physics.

Physics Teacher : And now tell me, Herr Wasserkopf, do clocks in church steeples
really become smaller as you walk away from them or do they
merely appear smaller because of an optical illusion?

Wasserkopf : What absolute rot? How should I know? Whenever I walk away

from clocks, they get larger!

Physics Teacher : In a word ... therefore, in a word...

Wasserkopf : In a word therefore, you give me a pain in the neck. You are an ass!
That’s my answer.

Physics Teacher : Good! It is correct. A brilliant one! Why is the look of the ass so
sad? Why are all of us usually so sad? Because we are all victims

of illusion. Also, the ass observes that objects appear to become
smaller as - he moves away from them. Excellent answer. The
candidate may be given ‘very good’ in physics.

Wasserkopf : I protest.

Principal : Now the examination in geography.

Geography Teacher : Tell me ...

Wasserkopf : I will tell you! I will tell you! Oh, how I used to hate you eighteen
years ago!

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